Three of Hearts
by A. Thena Agron
Summary: A tag to the second season episode Color Blind. Jimmy struggles with his feelings for Lou. Kid despairs over the way he and Lou left things. Lou is still upset over what she sees as Kid's betrayal.


**Disclaimer:** The Young Riders don't belong to me but to MGM/UA Television, Ed Spielman and Josh Kane. I'm just borrowing them. No copyright infringement intended.

**Three Of Hearts**

**By Kate Red**

The sound of pounding hoofs drew Kid's gaze toward the horizon. A cloud of dust enveloped the figures on horseback, making it difficult for him to recognize the approaching riders. He hoped it was Hickok and Lou. The two riders left to pick up bonds and bank notes in Willow Springs about three days ago and haven't been back since.

Kid's grip on the ax he was about to swing tightened. What would he say to Lou when he did finally see her again? An apology didn't seem enough. The memory of her huge brown eyes brimming with unshed tears brought a stab of pain to his heart. He didn't mean to hurt her. He never wanted hurt her. But when he stepped out of the bunkhouse and came face to face with Lou, he realized that's exactly what he had done. She had heard everything he told the other riders who were ribbing him about the new schoolteacher in town.

_How long was I supposed to brood over something that just wasn't meant to be. Lou is sweet, she is good-hearted. But it just didn't work out. Maybe it couldn't work out the way we live and work together._

Maybe their relationship would have worked — if only he cared less, loved less, felt less.

_Stop being my mom and stick to being my man._

Didn't she understand this was how he knew to be her man? He worried. How could he not? He knew exactly what kind of peril they faced every day. Wasn't he thrown into prison and forced into hard labor once? Wasn't he nearly captured by Indians the first time he rode? He tried to tell Lou, to make her understand the fear that gripped him, that tortured him on those nights when the bunk above him laid cold and empty. When the faint sounds of the night echoed again and again in his head, growing, increasing until they resembled a woman's scream, Lou's scream. He tried to shelter her, keep her safe but did she listen? No ... she's too bullheaded, too stubborn ... too independent... too precious. Damn! Where could she and Jimmy be?

The riders rushed past the corral and rounded the bunkhouse. It was Ike and Buck, back from picking up weekly supplies in town. Kid threw one last look over the horizon, searching for any sign of the woman he loved.

* * *

Red and orange flames shot up as Jimmy prodded the branches in the fire. Beside him, Lou slept fitfully. They had been riding the whole day, pushing their horses, and themselves, to the limit, intent on leaving the town of Willow Springs after their brush with death. Jimmy's hand tightened on the thin branch he used to poke the embers, his eyes focused on the shivering figure next to him. Careful not to make a sound, Jimmy took the blanket next to his bedroll and spread it over Lou's shoulders. He stayed a while just like that, watching, protecting.

It wasn't the first time he felt like wrapping the female rider in cotton and hiding her in a safe place where no one could hurt her. He worries when she rides out. Fearful when she doesn't return on time. He had tried to convince himself what he felt was ordinary concern for a good friend and fellow rider, but deep down Hickok knew there was something more. It had always been there, even before he even knew Lou was a girl. And after, when her secret was finally out, he couldn't really do anything. Not with Kid around. Besides, he knew full well how Lou would react if someone showed a slightest hint of concern for her.

_I can take care of myself._

He almost believed it. And nearly got her killed. Heady with excitement over the prospect of being alone with Lou, away from the watchful eyes of Kid and the suspicious stares of the other riders, he let down his guard. He could still remember the metallic taste of fear in his mouth when he realized Lou was gone, abducted from the fair they went to by a gunfighter he drew on a several years back. It was a fair play, but the man blamed Hickok for losing his trade. The man was bent on revenge and wasn't beyond using others to gain back what he thought he lost — honor.

Lou stirred and the blanket slipped from her shoulders. The famed lightning hands that helped forged his reputation as the fastest gunfighter in the West shook as Hickok adjusted the blanket. He waited a beat before pushing a lock of Lou's hair back from her face. Such a lovely face. Such a strong, tender face. Such a brave face.

Jimmy recalled how she looked with a noose around her neck. Lou didn't meet his eyes, but he instinctively knew it wasn't because she was angry at him. She understood the torment that tore him up inside. She didn't want to add to the pain he felt by showing her fear. Helplessness was something Hickok resented and seeing Lou in such a vulnerable state distressed him more than he cared to admit. To distract himself from the unwelcome memories, Jimmy started poking at the embers again.

Then he noticed a trail of drying tears on Lou's cheeks. Jimmy remembered a similar scene, about two nights ago when he sat eating while Lou cried herself to sleep, shedding jealous tears over Kid and the new schoolteacher. Jimmy tried to assure her, but broken hearts like hers are stubborn, focused in their grief. He should know. He couldn't sleep that night, silently tortured by Lou's silent hiccups. In the wee hours of the morning, Jimmy finally admitted the truth — he was in love with another man's woman.

* * *

Lou wrung the excess water from her bandanna, then wiped her brow and face, trying to cool off. They were just a half a day away from the station. If they rode hard, they could be home before dusk. But she had been purposely slowing them down, asking for more stops than necessary. She knew Jimmy was onto her but would rather have Hickok irritated than see Kid with _that_ woman. She didn't want to go home.

"You ready?"

Lou sighed.

Then frowned at Hickok when he lifted her chin with a finger.

"You can't avoid Kid forever. Sooner or later you have to face him. And if that schoolteacher is still around, you have to face her, too."

"I know."

But knowing doesn't mean accepting.

* * *

"... Ike finally told him ... told him his pants seat had a hole!"

The table erupted in laughter at Noah's tale of Cody's latest folly. Cody chuckled, too. He had gotten over his initial embarrassment, but he still didn't like being, literally, the butt of jokes. Looking for someone who could take the attention off him, Cody zeroed in on the silent figure seating away from the group.

"Hey, I wasn't the only one who made a fool of hisself lately. Why, Tompkins said he saw Kid here running after that new schoolteacher in town. What's her name, Kid?"

"Cody," Noah called out in a warning tone.

"What's her name again, Buck?" the fair-headed boy repeated, his voice trailing when he noticed Kid abruptly left the bunkhouse. "Kid hasn't been a barrel of laughs since that schoolteacher left. Do you think he is pining for her?"

A roll of his eyes was the mute rider's only response.

* * *

Kid threw a glance over his shoulder when he heard the bunkhouse door open. He had been sitting on the porch, scanning the horizon, listening for any sound that would mean Lou and Jimmy were back. He wasn't sure how long he had been waiting, but it must have been long enough for Teaspoon to come out. Without turning, he asked Teaspoon the question foremost in his mind.

"What did I do wrong?"

Teaspoon didn't even pretend to feign ignorance of what Kid's talking about. Understanding the younger man's pain and confusion, he tried to find the words to comfort Kid. But there were none. When it came to women, there were no easy answers. Six wives had taught him at least that much.

"Son, I don't know that anybody did anything wrong. When it comes to affairs of the heart ... " Teaspoon's voice trailed off. What could he say, really, that wouldn't sound condescending? So he sat down next to Kid and put his arm around the young rider's shoulders.

"She loves you. And you love her. You both just have to trust in that."

It was a long time before Kid nodded.

* * *

A cloud of dust enveloped the riders as Hickok and Lou rode up the bunkhouse. Kid was the first to approach them, anxious to welcome Lou back. But the young woman easily evaded him, turning to Teaspoon instead, giving him the saddlebag full of bank drafts. Kid tried to cover his embarrassment by taking the reins of her horse instead.

"Thought you were lost."

Hickok shook his head at Teaspoon. "Bank drafts were delayed."

Teaspoon accepted the explanation, but wondered what else happened in Willow Springs. He noticed a look flash on Lou's face before she managed to mask it. Rachel coming out of the bunkhouse stopped him from asking.

"I'm sure you both are starved. There's pot roast." Rachel hugged Lou, then Jimmy, happy to have her riders safe at home again.

* * *

The housekeeper's worried gaze remained on the horizon though the figure she had been following had long disappeared. Kid bolted out of the barn like the devil himself was after him, but Rachel knew a more distressing specter was haunting the young rider. Loud and furious voices from the barn distracted her from her chores earlier. She could not hear the words but she knew Kid and Lou were in the midst of a heated argument.

Rachel didn't know whether to be thankful or not. The exchange between the young couple was the first in days. The female rider had been avoiding Kid like the plague since her return from Willow Springs, preferring the company of Jimmy. Because of the tension between Kid and Lou, supper had become very quiet affairs. Even the usually gregarious Cody seemed to have picked up the vibes and limited his conversation to comments about the weather. Rachel had tried to talk to Lou, hoping the young woman may want to share her problems. But all she got from Lou was a whispered "I'm fine."

Rachel had a very good idea what the problem was. Two weeks ago, Lou confided to Rachel that Kid had proposed marriage to her and she turned him down, saying she felt "crowded." Rachel understood Lou's feelings but feared Kid couldn't bring himself to do the same thing. Those two love each other, she thought, but it's going to be mighty difficult if they both don't start remembering that.

* * *

Lou attacked the hay with unwarranted force, chucking and pitching with no direction, the darkness and the soft snickering of Katy and Lightning her only companions. She played her argument with Kid in her mind over and over again, finding no comfort, no consolation in the confrontation.

She had been doing her chores when Kid walked inside the barn. Her instinctive reaction was to stop working and leave, but she saw the fire in the Kid's eyes. She knew him well enough to know he was bent on talking to

her and short of knocking him to the ground, she wouldn't be able to move past him.

"Lou," he called out. When he got no response, he pressed on. "Lou, we need to talk. We can't go on with you avoiding me like this."

"I ain't avoiding you," she mumbled.

"Could have fooled me."

"What do you want, Kid?"

"To know that you're fine."

"I'm fine." Awkward silence descended, broken only by Katy's soft snicker.

Lou turned, intent on leaving when Kid caught her arm. "What happened to us, Lou?" he asked.

"I wasn't ready," she answered softly. "And you didn't trust me."

Lou's response triggered an onslaught of unpleasant memories for the Kid, foremost of which is the image of Lou in Jimmy's arms. "You were with Jimmy!"

"Are we back to that?" Lou's head whipped up. "You're still trying to pin this on me and I ain't done anything. I wasn't the one who was willing to risk his life in a duel for some chit he didn't even know!" The dam finally

broke and all the pain she had been keeping inside her burst forth like a rampaging flood. "All I want to know Kid is what you would have done if she didn't leave. If she stayed behind, what then?"

"Lou ..."

"What then, Kid? You were so angry when you saw me and Jimmy, but he was only helping. He hasn't done anything except help me. You? You go chase after the first skirt you see. After asking me to be your wife. And now you want me to act like nothing happened."

"Nothing happened," Kid insisted.

"Like hell."

"You were the one who broke up with me. You said no," Kid lashed at her, his eyes flashing with remembered bitterness and hurt. He took out Katy from her stall but added one painful reminder before he left. "That was the way you wanted things."

* * *

Teaspoon eyed the riders seated around the table, eating their supper. Buck and Ike were laughing softly, probably over some joke only they understood while Lou and Jimmy ate in silence, looking up once in a while to steal a glance toward the Kid. A storm was brewing, Teaspoon knew, but whether three of his young charges would survive it was unknown to him. Kid — good, decent, kind-hearted Kid — had been in an unusually foul mood for more than a week now.

But Teaspoon had no reason to talk to him since Kid hasn't been neglecting his duties — just his friends. The young rider talked to no one, spending most of his time either in the barn with Katy or volunteering for more than his share of rides. Cody has been the grateful recipient of Kid's restlessness. And when he is in the bunkhouse with the other riders, he preferred to lie in his bunk, his back to the other riders and read a book. Teaspoon is all for bettering oneself, but Kid had read almost every book in the bunkhouse thrice. Teaspoon noticed the Kid became more morose when Lou and Hickok were in the room.

Jimmy and Lou. Now there's a mystery. Something happened in Willow Springs and even now both riders weren't telling. But Teaspoon could see the new bond between the young gunslinger and the strong-willed female rider, a bond that seems to drive Kid deeper and deeper into despair.

Teaspoon fingered the folded note in his pocket. The territorial governor ordered him, Sweetwater Marshall Teaspoon Hunter, to send two of his best riders to Fort Laramie to pick up a note for the government in St. Joe. The assignment was dangerous but Teaspoon wasn't worried about it as much as the fact the order specifically asked for "Wild Bill" Hickok and "the man folks called the Kid." The stationmaster could only hope no guns will be drawn, no tempers provoked on this trip.

"Jimmy. Kid."

Teaspoon drew two pairs of wary eyes. "This here is a letter from Corliss T. Phelan. You remember him, the governor. Well, he ordered me to send you two to Fort Laramie. There's an important message waiting there to be delivered to St. Joe."

"Why us?" Kid quickly asked, already upset by the notion of riding with Hickok.

"The trail is a mite dangerous and the governor knows you'll do the job and do it right," Teaspoon answered, pre-empting any buts he was sure were forthcoming by adding, "I want two guns on this one, understood?"

"How is it dangerous, Teaspoon?" This from a visibly disturbed Lou. "We've been riding that trail, it's no more dangerous than usual."

Not wanting to add more to the young woman's worry but compelled to explain why two people are needed, the stationmaster said, "It's not the trip as much as the note, I think. Now I don't know what's in it but the soldier who delivered the order said the governor chose to send it through experienced riders because a lot of men will be after it."

The young woman's anguished gaze immediately flew to the Kid's. With his head bowed, Kid missed the look but Jimmy did and the realization that Kid was still first in Lou's heart brought a stab of pain to his heart. He barely heard Teaspoon tell them to get an early rest for their ride.

* * *

Kid lay still on his bunk, quietly staring at the bunk above him. He was careful not to toss and turn as he was inclined to do so when disturbed, not wanting to draw attention. He hadn't been able to get sleep even if he did turn in early as Teaspoon suggested. Lou's words to him at the barn played again and again in his mind.

_All I want to know Kid is what you would have done if she didn't leave. If she stayed behind, what then?_

How could he make Lou understand the whole thing was Samantha was his stupid way of trying to ease his pain? How could he make her understand his desperation at the prospect of spending life without her? Be patient with me, Lou. I love you.

* * *

_That's the way you wanted things._

_This is not going to work, is it?_

_I'm not ready._

_It will be different between us now._

_Maybe better?_

_I love you, Kid._

_I love you, too, Lou._

Memories haunted the young woman inside the bunkhouse. In the early morning hours, she came to a realization. This wasn't the way she wanted things.

* * *

Only Lou and Teaspoon were up to send the two riders off since Buck and Ike took off at the crack of dawn on another special run. "Remember, boys, take no risks. Time ain't your concern here. That note has got to get through, understand?" Teaspoon said to his young charges.

Lou knew her time was running out. She needed to tell Kid something important. Unfortunately, she had no idea what it was so she settled for words that were more prayer and plea, "Be careful, Kid."

Their eyes met, one pair brown, one pair blue, both searching for the love they thought they lost. For what seemed like eternity, Kid and Lou's gazes locked on each other, oblivious to everything — Teaspoon, Jimmy, the impending danger.

"I will."

Both reassuring, both reassured, they finally let go.

Biting her lips to control unshed tears, Lou finally looked at Hickok. Something she couldn't identify tugged at her heart. Maybe it had something to do with the cloud of pain in Jimmy's eyes. She was about to tell him to be careful when he nodded, then abruptly turned his horse and spurred it into a gallop. Kid followed. Lou took a step back and met Teaspoon's curious gaze. Not knowing what to do, she returned her gaze on the rapidly disappearing riders. Lou knew she loved the Kid, but a small yet vital part of her heart belonged to Jimmy. Keep them safe, Lord, she prayed. Keep them both safe.

**The end**


End file.
